Sometimes we put all our eggs into one basket, and when they don’t hatch or dreams break, we find we’d misplaced our hope. We all have talents and work to get where we are if we want to “be somebody.” Having a career is important to many people, but in the end on our death beds it will not be what is most important. It is not what God cares about. What does it profit a man to gain the whole world but lose his soul? Did we help share with others around us what God has done for us? Or did we just live for ourselves and our own private ambitions? Did we just want to make a name for ourselves? Make our families proud? Be called a fancy title like “doctor?” If we wanted to help people, what kind of help did we give and will it matter in the long run?
My whole career (if you can call it that) has been a miracle by itself. I am more on the reserved/shy/introvert side and I had a hard time from the beginning. While there has been plenty of joy, there have also been MANY tears. What comes easy to some is harder for others. For me, I’ve struggled through various obstacles and I definitely would not have made it by myself without God’s help. Because of shame and fear, I’ve hidden my struggles. However, I now see everything is really a testament to the glory of God, without whom I really could not have done anything. While I’ve had supportive people to help me each step of the way, I’ve also had naysayers on my path. I was told by more than one person, one pretty high up in the rank at my college, that I wasn’t very good at what I did and maybe I should pick a different career. That hurt. I cried the whole rest of that day. I was almost at the end of my program and to hear that was a harsh blow and completely shook any confidence I had gained. Well, I decided to take a year off and work to gain more experience. I even took some classes and got an internship. I met an amazing and encouraging lady there who automatically dubbed me her new best friend (mine is God now but if you’re reading this, I love you!). Anyway, when I was afraid of going back she told me to go for it and trust in the Lord. Well, the first job I got was not a good fit at all. Completely opposite personalities and work styles, not a good mix. I didn’t even hear it directly from them, but I got called to their boss’ office one day and they said they were letting me go and again said something similar to re-thinking my career. Thankfully, because this was only a part-time job with very little hours, I had already gotten another part-time job elsewhere about a week before that. With more time now, I worked more hours there and closer to home and everything (even that first job) helped teach me things that I carried with me. Once the year was up, then came decision time. I had an anxiety-filled 3 full days of wondering what I should do, pour more time, effort, and money into going back to finish what I had started or settle with the job I had and go from there? In the end, I decided to go back because if I didn’t I’d always wonder whether I could have made it, and if I failed then at least I could say that I tried. I prayed to God to help me. Well, God put some wonderful people to work with me that year and I made it. I had a wonderful experience and everything previously had helped prepare me for it. I got my credential with God’s help. Then, still not feeling completely ready and deciding I needed more experience before trying to go at it on my own, I decided to take a different but related job. A step up from my first job in terms of what I could do, and I did this for the next six months. I was planning on applying for a job on my own when in that second to last month, I got hit with 2 negative reports within a week of each other. I was sad. I thought things had been going pretty well and yet almost toward the end and this happens? Should I then apply for jobs after all or wait yet another year and gain more experience? How did I feel about it all? Going out on my own? Scared. This was another blow to my confidence and I decided maybe it was a sign from God to wait. However, with the 3 strikes and you’re out rule, I was also taking a risk. I’d only been doing this for 6 months. Could I last another year at this job? I put my trust in God and said if He wanted me to, I could do it, but I knew that at any moment I could get that third strike and it would be over. So I prayed every day to please let things go relatively well. Relatively being the key term because if they went well, would I truly be learning anything? If it was relatively well, then it would be problems I could handle with His help. I leaned on God that year like I never had before, and guess what? He carried me through for a whole year on that tightrope and didn’t let me fall. He even put a new mentor in my life that helped guide me with her experience and knowledge. There were good days and no so good days and I made plenty of mistakes, but thankfully kept learning from them. And by the end of that year, when I was applying, a specific type of job popped up that wasn’t there the year before. One that I had specialized in and there was a demand for, but not enough people that had the credentials for it. I applied to one, only to hear back from somewhere else that that position had been filled but would I like to work for them? I was surprised, as this was one of the places I had not had a good experience at and I told them as much. Yet, they were still interested and after an interview and job offer, I didn’t look a gift horse in the mouth and accepted. I put in two years here before God decided I was needed elsewhere. So much time, effort, and dedication… I love what I do and while I know I’m not “the best,” I put my heart into my work and I try. My enemy is time. There’s never enough of it to do everything I would like. Extra hours are not enough and I am drained after work, but I have learned so much already and I’ll keep learning and trying and working hard. Sometimes things don’t come easily, but God is good to those who wait. And even if He chose not to help me make it this far, I would be happy to follow Him regardless. I put my faith and trust in Him and trust that everything will work out for the best. It already has. What more should I expect when He has shown me time and again that I need to learn to lean on Him? His ways are higher than ours, so he might not have the same plans for me as I do or even as the world would. Even Paul knew he had everything he needed when he and Silas were in jail and singing praises to the Lord. The world thinking them accursed, but they knew God was with them. I may not always know what the future holds, but I know that I can trust my God who knows what He’s doing and works everything according to His purposes. In the trials, we must endure. Abraham was not granted a child until his old age, the Israelites wandered in the desert 40 years before reaching the Promised Land, and the widowed Ruth lost it all only to finally marry Boaz. Need I mention the book of Job? We can lose it all, maybe it’s a test like in the book of Job, but our treasure should be God above all else. Only then will we know true joy in spite of all types of circumstances. Without Him, we can do nothing. God, show me where you want me to go and I’ll try my best to follow. Maybe He wants me to focus more of my time on Him, and like He says, everything else will follow. We can’t serve both God and money. Only one can be our master. So what do we love more? Him or our career? God must be glorified in all things and if He is not, then maybe that’s not His will for us. Where can we truly live out our faith in ways that benefit others? How can we make the best use of our talents without burying them? My hope is that we all find our true calling (whether it is a ministry that doesn’t pay or a job that does) and if some of us need a little more guidance in this area then that God will lead us where He wants us and can serve Him and others best. Amen. Comments are closed.
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July 2020
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