I don’t know how others feel, but I have no problem seeing myself as the sinner I am. I know I have good points, but I also have flaws. Those we happen to have the opportunity to help are like us in many ways, often more than they know or than we let on. I sometimes actually have trouble in applying this thinking to other believers because I feel like they are further along in their spiritual journey, until I get to know them and see that they too are serving while imperfect. The fact that they share things that reveal some of their flaws encourages me to start to open up about mine.
I often feel like I have no one to turn to but God. I know I have many flaws, but in front of others I feel like I’m supposed to hold up this ideal image and if I display anything that’s not godly I have failed as a Christian. I don’t want to be a stumbling block to anybody. I don’t want to bring anyone down that was doing well or disappoint those that are further along than I am. And while I’m not proud of myself as I know any spiritual progress I have made so far is only due to the mercy and grace of God, I fear the shame that may come from those that seem like “Super-Christians.” They intimidate me a bit as darkness hides from the light and I don’t want to show that I’m not the “Super-Christian” I may appear to be. Satan is a great accuser and Christians aren’t immune from the sin of pride, but they don’t need to voice what I’m likely already thinking. I don’t need help in pointing out my flaws. Someone shared that sometimes people can see in you what you can’t see in yourself. I think that’s why we have to build each other up. If someone is ignorant of their sin, they won’t repent so by all means we should share the Word and help correct them. However, sometimes we also need people to point out the good and help us build on that. Focus on the good so we can increase that. Light can overtake any and all darkness, but sometimes that takes time and patience as we walk alongside others that may not share our knowledge or views. God’s definitely been patient with me, and I’m patient with others, so why do I end up thinking others won’t understand if we’re all basically in the same place? Sinners in need of a Savior. In the “Helping Without Hurting” portion of the core trainings I’m going to, one of the main themes was that anyone in ministry is going alongside brothers. Nobody is perfect and we’re not coming down to people as if we have it all together because we don’t. We’re all lacking in some ways, need Jesus, and ought to be building each other up. We are working together, loving and serving one another, and ministry is a partnership. It goes two ways, between those ministering and those being ministered to. While we help others, they in turn help us. And that’s how it should be. Encourage one another. Even those in ministry need help and encouragement, not just the ones they are serving. We get to minister to one another. So confess your sins to one another (James 5:16), bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2), and encourage and build each other up (1 Thessalonians 5:11). This idea was on my mind last week, as I found myself being ministered to. God knows the timing of His lessons for us. The exact words I needed were shared on the exact day I most needed them. I had to hold back my tears more than once, and others in the room were ministered to as well just by us going through the book and others simply sharing their experiences or thoughts. I was struggling against negative thoughts and fear that day, but we started by going over some Scriptures and one of them I especially needed reminding of in that moment. “Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:8). Someone else said, “Why kill yourself for a job that will replace you 1 week after you’re dead?” These brought to mind the Scripture verses that say “everything works together for the good of them that love God” (Romans 8:28) and to “do all for the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31). The Holy Spirit definitely does bring things to our remembrance, and God speaks through His word and His people. You never know who might benefit from your words. Even if we know them and remind others of them, sometimes we need a reminder of the very same words! “Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up, as indeed you do” (1 Thessalonians 5:11). Remember that there is one body with many parts, and no part is insignificant (1 Corinthians 12:12-26). This week, someone shared how they are afraid to make mistakes and another how they used to be afraid to open their mouth and share. I often feel the same way, but it was encouraging to hear that from other believers who seem to “have it together” or be more “mature” in their walk. Sometimes I also want to write and plan everything out, but God says “do not worry about what you will say for you will be given the words” (Matthew 10:19) and the Holy Spirit “will bring all things to your remembrance” (John 14:26). Another shared that when she didn’t feel like going to church or reading Scripture, she would pray for help from the Holy Spirit. I sometimes haven’t always felt like going to church, but those times that I wasn’t feeling it and went anyway, I didn’t regret it and what was shared was often what I needed at the time. Someone else shared that our spiritual life is more like a roller coaster than a straight upward progression. I completely agree. I’d like to think though that it’s a roller coaster that also gets higher over time rather than staying stagnant. We should be growing as Christians so that even if we fall, it’s not as far down as it would have been in the past and with God’s help we can keep going up. People in the group have shared some personal things, and I thank them. If you don’t have a small group of believers you can share with, I’m definitely beginning to see the benefit of it. I might struggle to share and be vulnerable sometimes. Sometimes it’s just hard because maybe I don’t want to cry and so I avoid saying anything. It can be because I feel like I should be setting an example, like with new Christians or with the world that can be quick to point a finger and would just use it as another excuse to stay away. It can also be especially hard to share with those that seem to “have it all together,” but often it’s just that we don’t know the person well enough yet. I certainly don’t think I’m better than others. I understand we’re all at different parts of our walk with Christ and God’s ultimately the one that keeps drawing us closer to Him. So why do I sometimes think of others as being in a “better” place spiritually than I am? It may or may not be the case, but we should all be humble about where we are and know that anyone can minister to anyone. Even people with flaws can minister, and we all have them. We can help each other recognize them, grow, and do God’s work in spite of them or sometimes even through them. My dad recently commented that back when one of my aunts was dying of cancer, he’d thought he was going to encourage and minister to her and in the end found that she ministered to him with her strength and faith. I don’t know how I appear to others, but maybe I should try to open up more. When people ask “how are you,” my go-to response is usually “good” even if that’s not always the case. I tend not to let people in on my struggles. However, if I don’t open up, how can I expect others to feel comfortable opening up to me? I’m only starting to feel a bit more comfortable in this new group of people because they are taking the first steps in sharing about themselves. I had started the training back in the summer but couldn’t finish it till now. The class is only once a week, but it took about 6 or 7 weeks for me to feel comfortable enough to start raising my hand! This is about the third week this time and I hope I can start sharing without feeling so nervous or self-conscious. If they’re sharing things that have helped me, the least I can do is share things that might help them. After all, Jesus said “where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am in the midst of them” (Matthew 18:20). This experience is showing me that we all in a sense may appear to be one way, but really all have our own struggles. Last week’s topic hit too close to home for me and I could not share as I was in the middle of what we were discussing. This week I’ve (mostly) come out on the other side and can reflect back, but I still don’t know what’s to come exactly. Though inclined to fear, I trust God more than ever and I’m thankful for everything. Good and bad. So in the end, ministry really goes multiple ways. People minister to others, who in turn minister to them. They also minister to each other and God also ministers to us through them and others. It’s like a never-ending circle of ministering. So never hesitate to give any words of encouragement, no matter how small they may seem. God’s working in all our lives and no role, deed, or words are too small. The title does not refer to “discipline” in the sense of punishment or rewarding good behavior. I mean trait-wise, do you consider yourself to be a disciplined or undisciplined person? As a ministry partner at my church, they give a core training that’s several weeks long and it’s broken up into different parts. Right now we just started the part about spiritual disciplines. I will confess to you that I am not disciplined, at least not in regards to many things. Even writing. They say that to be a writer, you should write at least 20 minutes every day. Well, growing up I tried to start a diary so many times, but I could never get past the initial 2 or 3 entries before I stopped. A couple of years ago, I started journaling and I’ve actually kept it up, but only during those times where I feel like I have something I want to write. When I have thoughts I want to sort out, feelings to express, something I learned or experienced, or I’m just so excited about something I want to share and remember it. If I write when I feel like it, or sometimes even if I don’t but I want to sort things out, then it helps and it works. I can’t just force it. Well I could, but then I wouldn’t enjoy it.
Jordan Taylor of the Blimey Cow YouTube channel was talking about this in one of his videos one day. He was saying how before he had tried to plan out videos, but it was so stressful and became more of a chore so it’s just not how he operates. He tends to get interested in things before he moves on and he never knows what’s coming next. Yet, he and his brother Josh are doing what works for them. They are disciplined in the sense that they put out at least one video every week, but undisciplined in the sense that they never know what their next topic, video, or interest will be. Everyone in the body of Christ has their own functions and God knows why he made us all. We’re each doing our part as we can. The function of the hand or the foot is not the same, but both are important. Today we were talking about how it’s not that we HAVE to do things like read the Bible or pray, but that we GET to do them. This is true. I grew up praying and talking to God, so I never thought of it as a chore. Reading the Bible on the other hand was something I only did on Sundays at church. I wasn’t interested in reading it outside that. Yet, God is always drawing us toward Him in subtle ways and we may not even realize it at the time. Even the smallest things can leave an impression on you. I still remember when I was a freshman in college and I bumped into someone from school after church. He asked if I had enjoyed the mass (I was Catholic at the time) and I was surprised by his question. I don’t even remember exactly what I answered, but I felt like he was there being all joyful and I was like am I missing something here? I thought it was nice, but ENJOY it? Didn’t we just go to learn and get some instruction in how we should live? Though some go on just Christmas and Easter, as a Catholic you also have to attend every Sunday or it’s a sin. So to me, it was a bit of a “have to” thing rather than a “get to” thing. Though that was a small thing, I never forgot it. I even referred to that in one of my poems, “Time Wasted.” Now, things are different. Now, I enjoy it. Now I know I GET to go, get to worship, get to read... Am I disciplined and where I want to be in my spiritual walk? No. But the Holy Spirit’s the one that has brought me this far and I’m grateful. If you’re not disciplined and where you would like to be either, don’t give up or think it’s impossible. Open up the Bible and ask God for the Holy Spirit to help you understand, remember, and apply what you read. While we are to confess to one another our sins, it is to repent and move on. Leave that stuff behind. Be a new creation. It is not to host a pity party or reminisce about your list of past or recent sins. The idea that you are what you eat continues to apply here. If you’re preoccupied with sin, then you’re dwelling in darkness. You’re thinking about sin, feeling guilty over it, and are maybe even still being tempted to do it again. What you focus on, you get more of. Don’t let that be a negative thing. This week our pastor said, “If you’re preoccupied with following the Spirit, you won’t have time to follow the desires of the flesh.” Are you thinking about your recent failures or next “fix,” or are you thinking how to best serve your neighbor? You can only expel sin/darkness by adding holiness/light. Spend the bulk of your time praying and delighting in the gospel instead of the sinful nature. The Spirit is continually at war with the flesh, so don’t give in but instead crucify the desires of your flesh. Those who walk in the flesh cannot please God, so set your mind on things of the Spirit. It’s the Holy Spirit that enables us to obey, not ourselves. So pray and read the Word, grow in faith, and the Holy Spirit can and will help change your desires. We can’t do it on our own. We might sin occasionally, but we don’t camp in it. Sin cannot reign where Christ reigns, so make him Lord of all. Let everything you do be for the glory of God, for His purposes. Pursing Christ is how the Spirit grows us. If we remain in Christ, we will bear much fruit. So let God work through us, because we can’t do it apart from Him. Occupy yourself with the things of the Spirit, and everything else will follow.
Ever hear the expression you are what you eat? If you become what you consume, then what are you consuming? What kinds of things are you setting before your eyes and taking in through your ears? Would you watch, read, or listen to the same things if you had your mom next to you? What if Jesus was literally sitting next to you? God does know everything we do after all. These are all questions we should ask ourselves. Paul was right when he said to examine yourself and be careful lest you fall. None of us is immune or oblivious to the modern-day culture around us. If we don’t watch ourselves, and let darkness enter in, how can we possibly let any of our light shine? Didn’t Jesus say it’s better to cut out our eyes and enter maimed into heaven than to enter whole into Gehenna? Don’t start looking around for a knife, just recognize the significance of such a statement. Jesus didn’t hyperbolize for nothing. If he exaggerated, it was always to make a point. Sin is serious and we need to be careful.
Oh foolish Galatians, you were running well. What hindered you? What is hindering us? Why and how could we even stray off the path? Don’t use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, get choked by the cares of the world, and then cry out to God because you feel abandoned. It’s not that He doesn’t care, it’s that we’ve strayed. A little leaven does leaven the whole lump. While we are free in Christ, that freedom was purchased at a price. Jesus didn’t die for us to go out and sin, but for us to go out into the world and love as we have been loved. Through love, serve one another. But we can’t love others as we truly ought to unless we’re set free by Christ first. Loving your friends and family is easy. Loving those who are indifferent or hate you is a whole other ball game and we need the aid of the Holy Spirit. So what do we do? Our pastor on Sunday said, “We must keep our eyes fixed on Jesus. If our eyes ever come off of him, we will be hindered.” Jesus is the author and perfecter of our faith. The Scriptures are our armor and double-edge sword. It’s not always easy, but resist the devil and he will flee from you. If you’re wondering what’s wrong or asking yourself why, stop. Think deeply. Reflect on what you’ve been consuming recently, and repent. Those things do have an influence over us, even if we don’t immediately recognize it. Whatever is true, good, worthy, think of those things. If it’s none of the above, then what are you doing and why are you letting yourself succumb to unhealthy things? How can you expect your spiritual and relational life to flourish and abound in love for your neighbor if you’re focused on your own selfish desires? And this is not just for whoever may happen to read this, but a good refresher for myself as well with thoughts and notes from a great Sunday message. Don’t get stuck in guilt if it hits close to home. Remember, love covers a multitude of sins. Do turn away from your sin and turn to God who knows you, faults and all, resuming your walk on the narrow road. Many will look for it, but few find it. We may occasionally lose sight of it and what’s important, but may God keep extending us the mercy we don’t deserve. Only then can we truly demonstrate our love for God by serving others. We don’t do it to earn God’s love or to be saved, but because He demonstrated His love to us on that cross and even now in spite of ourselves. We can’t help but want to reciprocate and extend that love out of our overflowing gratitude and joy. So don’t lose sight of what truly matters, discard those hindrances, and go serve with love. |
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July 2020
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