People that know me know I’m generally pretty reserved except with certain friends or family members. In general, you could say I’m a goody-two-shoes poster girl to most people, which used to frustrate me in the past. Like I’d tell people to go ahead and cuss in front of me, I didn’t care, and yet they wouldn’t because I didn’t cuss or swear. Now I’m glad that they chose not to. Appearances can be deceiving and really, if you knew me then, I had a lot of my own sins I was blind to even if cussing wasn’t one of them. Though that’s not exactly true since in my teen years I did type a few choice words even if I never said them out loud (with at least one exception…). In general though, I’ve generally been a people-pleaser and go with the flow. Unless something clearly violated my beliefs, morals, or ethics, in which case I could remove myself from the situation or just not participate or whatever, I still never really stood up and shared why I didn’t do the same things. Now is not any different other than now I know what a lot of my past sins were because God’s word has shown and convicted me. I keep studying Scripture and there’s probably still things that I need correcting in. Nobody knows everything and we are ALL able to use Scripture to correct each other.
Nobody is good but God. I think that’s why this particular entry is a bit tough to write. Though I shouldn’t fear what man thinks, I can’t help but wonder if perhaps this will tarnish my image in other people’s eyes? Both in the eyes of fellow believers and in the eyes of the world. Isn’t a Christian supposed to be “good”? We are supposed to strive to be holy because God is holy, but until Jesus returns we still live in a broken, sinful world and are still imperfect. Just because we’re not committing the same sins as each other doesn’t mean each person isn’t sinning in their own ways. If you thought I was good, you were wrong. If you had me up on a pedestal, then knock that down because I’m not! By the world’s definition, in many ways I could be, but by God’s standards? Heck no. I’ve got a long way to go! We all do, but that’s why we can confess our sins to each other and strive to build each other up. Don’t put stumbling blocks in front of your brother. If you see something wrong, use the Word to correct him. Maybe he’s sinning in ignorance or maybe he’s plugging his ears and you can share the words God wants him to hear? While it used to bother me a little that people would assume I was innocent, now it kind of bothers me that I know I’m not. I don’t want to burst anyone’s bubble so to speak if they have that image of me, but even Paul talked about the Spirit being willing but the flesh is weak. I think I can blame television among other things for corrupting my mind. Even if I wasn’t outwardly committing a lot of the sins the world does, God knows our hearts and minds as well and like I said, we all sin in our own ways. I’m not saying it’s the television’s fault, by no means! I’m saying that I made some poor choices and that the entertainment industry often shows you a different worldly perspective that calls good evil and calls evil good. While I thought at the time it had no such effect on me, I wasn’t reading my Bible enough to know that it actually did. I was surprised by things I read which, with fresh eyes, I was now seeing portrayed in the shows I used to love. So apparent that I can’t believe I never noticed. That is how powerful God’s Word can be. Read your Bible and ask yourself how many things are wrong with what you’re putting in front of your eyes when the Bible says to think about good and edifying things? If it’s not edifying you or the church, maybe it’s not something you should be looking at or watching? Well, to confess to you one of my current fears… I guess while it doesn’t bother me now that the world would assume that I’m a “goody-two-shoes,” it bothers me that they would think this to such an extent that they would think well she said it and so we can trust her. No! Don’t trust me! That is waaay too much responsibility and I’m NOT who you should be putting your trust into. I fail God a lot, but I am trying. Trust in God, not in man. Not your teachers or your pastors, but in GOD. He is who we should be following. Good thing I don’t have a Twitter account, so you can’t follow me there! But I’m trying to point people to the One they should follow, and that’s God. I’m afraid I might mess up and say something that would cause someone else to stumble or fall, but that is a small fear compared to the excitement and joy I feel when I think that if this site helps even one person it will be worth it. That’s all I want. That’s why I started it. Because I want to share the love of God with a world that doesn’t know Him. You can know Him too if you seek Him with all your heart. So messing up, making mistakes, that’s human and normal. But it’s better and less daunting if it only affects you versus tons of other lives. Sometimes I’m a bit of a perfectionist and want to get something “right” before I share it with anyone. However, God sometimes wants us to share the whole process. We can bring him glory despite our weaknesses. God should get the glory He deserves through the work He’s begun in me. That brings me to my next fear, the fear of man. Fear of bullying, discrimination, hate… God said the world will hate you because it hated me first. If it doesn’t, then maybe you’ve been a people-pleaser like I have. Never sharing the joy and peace you’ve found in the Lord because people would get offended and mad at you. I had a Pinterest account that I had been so excited about until people started making rude comments on it. It’s hard to respond with kindness when someone is hatefully insulting your intellect or character instead of responding to the points you made. Then why bother replying? I didn’t insult them back but it was emotionally draining when you keep putting out positive things for other people to just trash and mock. I ended up pretty much abandoning it, though I could still go back and revisit it as I never actually closed it. Anyway, fear of failure, ridicule, judgment, leading people astray, discrimination from future employers, church members, co-workers, the government etcetera. All valid concerns, but we should fear God not man. If I wait until God has finished His work in me, I’ll be dead. I won’t be complete until I die. I’m still a work in progress and I’m not here to share my own progress or faults but how God has worked in my life so far and what He’s going to keep doing in my life until I die. I am here to share that God is alive, God is real, and God wants you to be a part of his family. If you’ve never been to church or have strayed, try to find a local one to go to. If you already go, then let’s keep building each other up. We can all agree to disagree on small issues that are not relevant to our salvation, but we are still all one body with different parts and different functions and we need to reach out to those outside the body. They are worth all the risks I named above and more. Am I waiting on a car accident or cancer to embolden me for Christ? By then it could be too late. If I die tomorrow, what was it all for? I was made by God and for God. To love God above everything and to love my neighbor, not the world. Not myself. I get anxious even thinking of sharing the gospel with people, but I know I need God to help me in that department. For me, this is like a baby step in that direction. How about you? Do you find it easy to share the gospel? Got any tips for an inexperienced newbie? What are you doing to reach out to your neighbor? Comments are closed.
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DisclaimerWhile I love open discussions, not all internet users are kind. I'd like to build people up, not have others cut people down. Therefore, no comments, but feel free to email me if there's something you'd like to share with me. Archives
July 2020
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